I'm not ready...

(And sorry my Deutschenglish)

I was...I am very afraid to believe again, right now, I'm trying really hard to fall, even do in the very end, I pull myself back in my pedestal... I'm not ready to trust again...

I create a new me, which sometimes I just have being, he left me with a lot of issues, that still are very present.

I was not the girl that I am, and that I miss, that girl tat was like any other, but I closed herself to the world.

Girls like me can be an open book, but you don't let anyone read you really, that's how I feel.

I was not this cold, I was able to say I love you, I was able to love hard, be romantic, to be my true self... But something happen in my path, where I realize that I don't want-and I don't let them hurt me.... You make decisions in your life, and I made them....

I can fall, but not be hurt......

For the first time in years, I let myself go, and found another me.. I met a person that made me change my old and bad habits... another person just like me... but worse

...and NOW I'm not that strong to make him better, to change his ways, I don't need this, I cannot fight him...

Is it possible for him to change? So, he can and work together....
Is it possible for me to change? So, I can and work together...

I truly want to believe... but I'm not ready...

I really want to believe what he says, but as I been taught is just another man... another liar... another me....

Sadly, even do I don't want to believe, I fell this time, and I wanted it to...but not like this....

And since I came back, I feeling these strange feelings, I feel is time for decisiones, but I cannot make them... I have to wait until this is finish... but I want this to end...

I need time, but not much... I want to fast forward 5 years from now....
but sadly I'm not ready....

Not ready and stucked...